The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up. I avoid hanging out with pigs. 235. They dribble all the time. Why did the piano teacher need a ladder? I don't know how to deal with it. ", the others ask. The Dreadful Diva. 199. 242. Knotty Dreads. They're on the house! I dont know, and I dont care. Q: Who's there? My grief counselor died. Cheerios! What does a triceratops sit on? Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? My dog sat on a piece of sandpaper. How much do roofs cost? You'll think I'm crazy until you should see me with my best friend. You could probably get a good price for your clubs. These conversational dragon jokes will have the kids giggling all day. Make me one with everything.. Shutterstock A carrot! 265. Thats terrible But couldnt you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?" When is a door not a door? "Yeah," says the critic, "that's what is missing. Choose from A-line dresses in sizes XXS-4XL and T-shirt dresses in sizes XS-XXL. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. For a high school dance, the head boy asked out the girl he liked. A pork chop. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? Because he used up all his cache. I sold my vacuum the other day. "A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right. It had buck teeth. What has a bed that you cant sleep in? Why cant a bicycle stand on its own? What's the best way to watch a fishing show? He was so good, I don't even. But what makes a dad joke different from a regular pun? It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. A racist man called me a terrorist for having long hair, a long beard, and being Middle Eastern. What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. Why did Adele cross the road? What did one pen say to the other? How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? A clock roach. Because she ran away from the ball. What did the lawyer wear to court? Because he was outstanding in his field. Two walkie talkies got married. You're ink-redable. Cliff. Whats the best way to burn 1000 calories? ", Once, a mosquito walked into a clinic. I heard they bonded. "I just need to outrun you. Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. If you don't already know the answer (and we're guessing you do because it's a classic), you'll simply have to scroll on for the punchline. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Curses! Then it dawned on me. What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? The woman changes into a sexy outfit and lies on the bed. The drumstick. But, we all know how these situations tend to go - if you need to remember an entertaining story that has actually happened to you, your mind goes blank, and now the moment to shine is missed. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. 249. I don't file my nails. A starfish! ", A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. The perfect tummy control bodysuit, a popcorn gadget, more bestsellers starting at $8. ", My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. He's demanding 10 million rubles, or he'll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. 54. Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? 130. Guac and roll! One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold. 232. Very Rich Clay, what is your second wish? 126. 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Share a giggle with these funny jokes! When its full. Moo-Years Day! Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn't be discussed over the dinner table. What do skateboarders do when theyre really talented? 132. Because when you find it, you stop looking. A week later, one of these redneck farmers says . 159. When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." What do you call a space magician? 48. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor. The girl wanted to have some apple punch so the boy went to get it, but to his surprise, there was no punch line. We find we learn so much about each other. When should you take a plum to dinner? We didn't really give it much thought until my brother really started eating his homework for dinner. Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill. he shouted.A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me. 160. 58. 278. 241. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. They would thank you. razer blade 15 60hz vs 144hz. 193. 135. He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didnt realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. "30 minutes later he's back in line at the ATM. ", cried the man. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? You wont miss an opportunity to make someone laugh with these corny good jokes. Youre nuts! Grandma may be the queen of nonsensical sayings, but Dad is certainly the king of cheesy jokes. Catch up! A Mars bar. What is it?The attorney replied, The pictures are of you with your secretary., I was visiting the house of a distant cousin when I saw that he was playing chess with his cat. Whats the best smelling insect? Why wouldnt the shrimp share his treasure? Someone glued my deck of cards together. May I ask you a question? In which part of New York do cholesterol levels tend to be lowest? 72. They always hog the road. 192. 79. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing. Here are 125 funny jokes for kids that will make even the most serious adult smile. Despresso. Everything you need over 50% OFF. What do you call a bee that cant make up its mind? 245. What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? What is the opposite of a croissant? Gravi-TEA. "The farmer didn't answer. The owner welcomes him and shows him to the table. Hey yall Watch this! 3. Why did the school kids eat their homework? 150. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Where does a spy go to the toilet? A chocolate. A fence. Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight! He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. Why did the witches team lose the baseball game? 24 Why do rednecks like having sex doggy style? How did the blonde die ice fishing? Why are ghosts good cheerleaders? Why waste perfectly good fuel on a tyrant? You will be able to keep friends and family laughing with this long list of the best jokes! I think she could be right.Saul replied enthusiastically, Well done! "God said, "Sure, just a second. 102. But you need to wear these condoms to stop me from getting pregnant.". Why doesnt the sun go to college? Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. It was framed. Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? ( Golf Workout Program) 7) "Housework won't kill you. That hit the spot. Minnesota (as in, mini-soda). 85. One of the hunters pushed forward, Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. What do newborn kittens wear? 154. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 3 What do lawyers wear to court? This is one of our favorite joke books. Shutterstock Lawsuits! Its two gross. An Envelope. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. I want some motherf***ing pancakes!, the second boy said. ", As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault. The man asked the barber to give his son a haircut while he shopped for groceries nearby. "His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. 224. Why should you never trust stairs? "The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." ", Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. Whats an astronauts favorite candy? How do you make a tissue . What do you call a pudgy psychic? Someone glued my deck of cards together. Two redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. ", I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. How did the dinosaur build her house? Because they make up everything. He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse? You're the father of triplets! We finally asked the son where his father was. 175. With a cow-culator. 115. How do you make a pool table laugh? What is an astronauts favorite key on a keyboard? He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. 16. Now whats your final question?. The Big MacKerel! Why did the orange stop? Error occurred when generating embed. ", Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him, "What's wrong? Where did the music teacher leave her keys? 203. What did one eye say to the other? The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town? My brother came back from school all motivated because he said he would be following a new diet from that day. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.This must be a mistake, the man says. "No", he says. One Of The Best Long Jokes For Adults. BOOOOOOOts. 100. Two redneck farmers are leaning over a farm gate when gorgeous girl pulls up in her Mercedes. A flying saucerer. Sometimes I wonder why but kids love knock-knock jokes. It was below sea level. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. In fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store. 42. 271. ", My boss was honest with me today. They crashed in the wilderness. Ten tickles 22. Two redneck farmers are leaning over a farm gate when gorgeous girl pulls up in her Mercedes. "Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor. 200. Your feedback will help us improve the article. A garbage truck. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? The man shakes his head. Subscribe to the Laugh Factory's channel here: http://youtube.com/subscriptio. Why did the melon jump into the lake? A URLologist. Now, the main question here is this - are you ready for our selection of only the best long jokes ever? 172. The space bar. 1 Two Redneck Farmers. Sep-timber! Herein, we've rounded up the 50 funniest jokes that are so silly they're practically sunshine. 53. 239. You mustang out with me. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Well except the kids, right? A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. Any dog, because buildings cant jump. Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem. Why is Peter Pan always flying? What does it take to make an octopus laugh? No, answered the redneck, she just lays there like her mother. "Tim gets this horrified look on his face.She says, "Darling, what's wrong? His wife asked what was wrong, didnt he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? Why shouldn't you trust atoms? But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. 282. They have many fans. There are over 200 short jokes that will keep you and your friends chucklesnorting all day!

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